Porky Pig

Porky Pig
Porky Pig

Fat vegetarians do exist. I used to know one once, and never really understood how it happened. I didn’t know him very well, and he was a bit thick, but I never got over the fact that he was fat. I used to wonder if he gorged himself on kilos and kilos of cheese and lorry loads of peanuts and sunflower oil? I toyed with the idea of the possibility that he ate buckets of lard, and then remembered that lard is like boiled animal or something similar and presumably wasn’t allowed.

But maybe it was tubs of butter with a hundred eggs for breakfast? Bags and bags of sugar with every syrupy coconut alcohol cocktail he could get his hands on? Maybe he lived on chocolate and soya mayonnaise, double extra saturated fat monster carbohydrate fries? In retrospect, there must be a hundred ways to stuff your face with non-meat products and wander around in some sort of bloated holier-than-thou state of meatless fatness-ness.

To be fair, I never considered the fact that he might be vegan, but that would be absurd as they’re all anorexic, never mind fat. I always thought I’d be a bit disappointed if I was a fat vegetarian. That was 25 years ago, and I sort of think back and wonder if that was a bit naive. But, presumably two hundred packets of crisps, eighty bars of chocolate and five portions of fish and chips EVERY DAY will make you fat. Even vegans if they don’t eat the fish.

I figure carbohydrates are things that herbivores eat, so they can be ignored by vegetarians, going straight for the high sugar, poly-unsaturated fat mega high energy, high fat diet. Maybe so, who knows, but the fact that without exception, every vegetarian I ever met since was either a health freak or a hot babe (oddly, never the two groups coincided) leaves me to think that that fat veggie way back when was porky for genetic reasons.

OK, I don’t really believe that. He was a fat pig, who ate too much sugar. Oh, yeah, please visit my dieting websites.

Whether a fat vegetarian or not, you will find some great weight loss tips on I don’t want to be one of those fat vegetarians. And even better advice on: Don’t starve yourself.

Stephen Hawking, Porky Pig and Carl Sagan walk into a bar?

Which one has the oddest accent?

Irrespective of the accent and whether they are extant or extinct, I’d imagine that Stephen and Carl would find the most to talk about because they are both theoretical physicists. But the surprise of having a talking pig with a speech defect with them would likely render both dumb. The pig would be the only one talking, so his accent would be the oddest.

Porky Pig Porky s Duck Hunt (1937)

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